Just behind the screen

Fifty five is a good dieable age...

Said, 'Arundhati' in 'God of small things'...

Not sure about the exact age mentioned..

But, fifties it is and that might be true...

But when you see shadow of Death...

Just behind the screen..

The very first instinct is to 

Cover your face and hide ..

You know that is futile..

For He can pick you up..

From any crowd ..

No hiding from Him ..

Yes, I could see Him there ..

Patiently going about His business, 

I wondered what it was about?

Spiritual or physical? Soul or body?..

I couldn't make out from this side...

I thought of things...

Things that would happen 

When I was gone...

The void that I would create ..

In the minds and lives of loved ones...

I considered them one by one 

and tried to analyse 

The impact of my absence

In each of their lives...

I should agree...

That I saw lots of tears 

And sorrow all around ..

Imagining those tears 

Made me tearful...

But then.... 

When I looked beyond ..

I saw them moving on ..

Accepting the inevitable...

Time, indeed the healer ..

Then I thought of all those

Unfinished works to be done .

Dreams to be realised..

Mistakes to be corrected...

Before I go with Him ..

And then He stood up and smiled...

Turned around and went away ...

I stood there wondering...

When would He come back ..

Then I realised...

How indifferent I had been ..

To the rhythm of my breath...

How did I take for granted...

The murmur of my beautiful heart!!!

I stood there...

Filled with gratitude...

And promised my body...

That I would live mindfully

From then on...

Did I hear a little smirk...

A little beat missing somewhere..

Whispering 'hey, heard it before'.. 

Yes, I made this promise...

Year after year, as part of 

my new year resolutions....

and ......

You know what happens 

to new year resolutions ...

But this time it's different...

You don't see the shadow of Mr. Death...

Every now and then, right?

Preetha Raj